CUDDLY ROADKILL - NOT PC BUT DAMNED FUNNY!
Tired of tickling Elmo? Bored with Barbie? Still have a Cabbage Patch Kid suffocating in a cupboard? Well it's time to move on and get yourself a new furry friend, thanks to the twisted minds at Roadkill Toys. Sensitive types with zero sense of humor may want to stop reading now, but the rest of you sickos should click the link and get out your credit card.

First off the line - or off the floor - is the ever-so-cuddly Twitch the Raccoon. With his bloodshot eye popping out and a generous amount of internal organs spilling from his gut, Twitch is the ideal plushy for potential serial killers and regular truck drivers. Here's part of the marketing blurb:

"He lies in a pool of blood and guts. Organs, cracked ribs, intestines, blood- all of them are stuffed. And we’ve used a new type of stuffing that squidges out when you squeeze it. We think it gives a more realistic effect. On his underbelly there is an embroidered blood splat, and sunny-side up there’s a tyre (sic) print."

Oh the humanity! The UK-based company offers Twitch for a mere $50, excluding shipping, and there are 1000 limited edition Twitches with a special tag to mark their uniqueness. Collectibles indeed.

But they don't intend to stop there. Slated for release are the appositely named Pop the Weasel, Splodge the Hedgehog, Grind the Bunny, Smudge the Squirrel, and Puddle the Vole. Now it's possible for your kids to not only have fun with a cuddly critter but learn anatomy at the same time! This is 2008's first cool educational toy. Furthermore, there are character obituaries available for each little pal, including the cause of death.

And if your thrill-seeking organ has been tweaked, take a look at the video section of the site, where you'll find a promo ad for the company that includes the ominous words, "Lots of animals were harmed in the making" of this video.

It's so nice to know that there are still people out there who realize that bad taste CAN be hysterical, and who are not afraid to keep pushing the boundaries of free speech to ward off the self-appointed, self-important, mealy-mouthed, puritanical PC whiners who want to suck all the fun out of life and crush any sense of humor under a prudish jackboot.