I REALLY WANT TO HELP WITH YOUR OIL MONEY - HONEST
Here's an open message to Mrs. Loi E. Estrada, Kofo Williams, and Mrs. M Mobuto Sese-Seko: Look, I appreciate you have to go through life with ridiculous names, but if you really want me to help you shift $13,000,000 million, $10Million, and $18,000,000,000 respectively, you have to meet me at least half way and ANSWER MY FRICKIN' EMAILS!

I mean, how stupid do you have to be to send me an offer to make money and then NOT give me any way of contacting you. What is this? Do you all have heads shaped like novelty penises? Each time I hit the "reply" button, I get an error message. Here I am with money to contribute and you won't let me.

I am willing to sell my house, possessions, and children into slavery - just give me somewhere to contact you. It isn't difficult - not even for someone with a stupid name.

QUEER EYE FOR THE LEADERSHIP GUY!!

Harper-Collins Press Release
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Business on the slide? Employees leaving? Creditors knocking at the door? Then it's time for a BIG change in your Leadership Style. And when it comes to Style, who better to help than Kyan Douglas, Ted Allen, Carsen Kressley, Jai Rodriguez, and Thom Filicia - The Fab Five themselves!

Yes, it's time to throw out "Leadership Secrets of Attilla the Hun / Winnie the Pooh / Warren Buffet / any-old-name-that-sounds-catchy" and get hold of the indispensable - and stylish - "Queer Eye for the Leadership Guy!!!"

Available in one of five groovy colors, "Leadership Guy" recognizes the Real Truth - you CAN'T learn to be a Leader but you CAN DRESS THE PART! And dressing the part will help you score big time with bankers, venture capitalists, P.R. folks, AND CHICKS!

With more flash than Macromedia and more trumped up than Donald, the Fab Five set out to turn YOU into that cool, sophisticated, but definitely NOT GAY leader you've always wanted to be. NO more overhearing "You mean THAT schlub is the President?" or "Sorry, I thought you were the janitor." Now it's "Hey dude, looking sharper than a razor today" and "Oooh boss, you mean I can really touch those silky new boxer briefs?"

Yes, "Leadership Guy" will turn your world around and turn you're management appeal up to eleven!!!

Hot Leadership Tips include:

• Kyan's "How to fire poor employees yet keep your hair from loosing its natural bounce!"


• Ted's "Negotiating a new deal with you major suppliers and which loafers NOT to wear!"


• Jai's "Win that new bank loan with the RIGHT cologne"


• Carsen's "Motivate your employees with khaki!"


• Thom's "Enhance your new products by color-contrast with corporate apparel."

So log on TODAY to www.harpercollins.com/queerleader.html and get your pre-release copy for only $29.99 - and choose one of five limited edition covers, each with a different "Fab" guy!!

With so many exclamation points and upper case letters, you just KNOW it's got to be good!!!!!!