HOLOCAUST CARTOONS? DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH
As a mature, rational, though-provoking intelligent response to the current furor about cartoons of Mohammed, the Iranian "independent" newspaper, Hamshahri, has launched a contest to find the best cartoon about the Holocaust. It seems that although the President of Iran has already said it never happened, this doesn't stop other folks from creating cartoons about the non-event.

Let's take a moment here to analyze the Islamic logic at work: cartoon about one dead prophet from centuries ago - must be banned and infidels killed; cartoons about the systematic massacre of millions of Jews 50 years ago - no problem. Need I say more? Well, probably yes.

First, the "independence" of the Iranian "free press" can be questioned. According to the Newsmax corporation, "...the contest would be launched Monday and co-sponsored by the House of Caricatures, a Tehran exhibition center for cartoons. The paper and the cartoon center are owned by the Tehran Municipality, which is dominated by allies of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, well-known for his opposition to Israel."

Of course, I expect the official line will be "we are only supporting freedom of the press, who can run such competitions if they want. If some people are offended, then that's too bad."

And guess what: I say, Go ahead and run the cartoon competition. The real tragedy will be that they will NOT BE FUNNY. What do you call a Muslim with a sense of humor? An Infidel. I'm sure some folks could create some really funny Holocaust cartoons, but I doubt that the Muslim powers-that-be have any idea about how to make or take a joke.

The whole experience may also serve to teach the rapid Muslim element how rational human beings react to such cartoons. There will be strong words and condemnation, but you will not see rioting on the street, the burning of embassies, nor the wholesale insanity that is currently being exhibited by followers of the "Religion of Peace."

However, if the political activists who are orchestrating these riots (and this is clearly the action of groups with scimitars to grind, or why else would this be happening now rather than 4 months ago when the cartoons were actually published) think that a few cartoons about the Holocaust are going to "teach the infidels a lesson," they really are one can short of a six pack. Or maybe one prophet short of a religion.

DIE, INFIDEL, DIE! BUT LEND US THE MONEY FIRST...

Let's play a little game of "Spot the Double Standards" starring our old friend, "Peaceful Islam" aided by a little sensitivity over some cartoons:

Saturday, February 4th, 2006: "Hundreds of Palestinians turned out for protests on Saturday. In Gaza City, demonstrators hurled stones at a European Commission building and stormed a German cultural center, smashing windows and doors. Protesters also burned German and Danish flags, and called for a boycott of Danish products. (Source, CNN, copyright The Associated Press.)"

Monday, February 6th, 2006: "The Palestinian Authority will ask international envoy James Wolfensohn to quickly release $300 million in aid to keep government ministries running, a senior official said on Monday. (Source Reuters.)"

So, anybody spot the double standard here? Anybody?

But it gets even better. According to the same Reuters' Report on February 6th, the request for aid "...came a day after an internal investigation revealed that at least $700 million of funds from the Palestinian Authority's coffers have been squandered or stolen." Then, in what must rank as one of the most audacious threats of 2006 do far, the Palestinian Economy Minister, Mazen Sonnoqrot, said that "...withholding the money from the Palestinian Authority was tantamount to 'collective punishment' and could result in chaos."

No shit, Mazzy baby! Well, why not try this: get all the rabid Muslims who are all up in arms about some pictures and have them put down their fire bombs, AK-47s, knives, baseball bats, and any other intruments of peace, and pray to Allah for the cash. If He thinks you're worthy of it, then He will most assuredly make the $300 million appear in your bank account. On the other hand, is He is getting really pissed off with the way in which Moslems are using His name to make war on the rest of the world, then the coffers will stay empty.

So go ahead, Mazzy, give it a whirl. Hey, and don't forget to tell us all when the money appears. Oh, and this sort of "asking for aid, or else" was tried in the past in the British Isles. It was called Danegeld, and the funny thing was, everytime the locals paid the danegeld, the Danes kept asking for more. It didn't work then, and it won't work now.

MUSLIMS RIOT - AGAIN - IN PROTEST. GEE, DID WE EXPECT ANYTHING ELSE?
Your misanthropic Bystander has had his disgust toward the human race confirmed once again following the psychotic response of muslims to cartoons of the prophet, Mohammed. Apparently Muslims feel that cartoons of the prophet with a turban shaped like a bomb makes it looks as if Islam is a violent religion. And here's how they have tried to demonstrate its peaceful nature:

A. "Up to 300 Islamic activists in Indonesia, the world's most populous Muslim country, rampaged in the lobby of a building housing the Danish embassy in Jakarta.

Shouting "Allahu Akbar" (God is Greatest), they smashed lamps with bamboo sticks, threw chairs, lobbed rotten eggs and tomatoes and tore up a Danish flag. No one was hurt"

B. "In the West Bank city of Ramallah, hundreds of Palestinians attended a Hamas-organized rally, tearing up a French flag and holding up banners reading: 'The assault on the Prophet is an assault on Islam.'"

C. "Palestinian gunmen seized and later released a German on Thursday, and a hand grenade was thrown into the compound of the French Cultural Center in the Gaza Strip."

D. "The editor of a Norwegian magazine which reprinted the Danish cartoons said he had received 25 death threats and thousands of hate messages."

Ah yes, peaceful, tolerant Islam. Lucky for all involved that it was just a cartoon. Let's see what happens when Fox runs its new sit-com, "Everybody Loves Mohammed," a whacky slice of life with the prophet sharing a room in LA with Jesus, Buddha, and Pamela Anderson.

Meanwhile, I'd like to remind folks that "blasphemy" only makes sense if you have religious beliefs. We atheists are technically incapable of being blasphemers because we don't believe in any gods. You might as well start hanging people who doubt the existence of fairies.

Look, boys and girls, you are free to believe any old tosh you like, be it in God, Allah, the Great Galactic Turtle, aliens from Mars, or invisible pixies that steal the ends off pens. But belief is not proof, and don't try shovelling it down other people's gullets. If you're that convinced in the power of a supreme being, why not pray to him/her and have him strike down the non-believers. Or isn't your god capable of that?

Seems to the Bystander that there are far too many people speaking on God's behalf. So why not let the big man do it Himself, yes?