BURGERS AND RESPONSIBILITY
Hippocrates once said “Everything in excess is opposed to nature.” His name, curiously enough, comes from the Greek words hippos, meaning horse, and kratos, meaning power. Fortunately for the car sales industry, engine makers opted for abandoning the Greek hippo to describe the power of their machines. I’m not sure folks would be wowed by a Porsche that was described as having the equivalent pulling power of 605 hippos.

As well as being almost famous for sounding like a huge, fat, water horse, Hippocrates is acknowledged as the founder of modern medicine, with the Hippocratic Oath being named after him. As a doctor, he apparently not only talked the talk but walked the walk when it comes to looking after oneself. According to legend, he lived into his 80’s, with some sources claiming he hit the century mark. Clearly, avoiding excess and adopting the maxim of “moderation in all things” worked out just peachy for old Hippocrates.

Contrary to this philosophy, Oscar Wilde once wrote, “Moderation is a fatal thing... nothing succeeds like excess.” Not exactly noted as a believer in temperance, Wilde died at the age of 46 – only half way towards Hippocrates’ expiry date.

However, the spirit of excess lives on in the USA. If Wilde had been alive today, no doubt he would have found his way to the Heart Attack Grill in Tempe, Arizona. Armed only with your check book and a portable defibrillator, you can tuck into their infamous “Quadruple Bypass Burger,” (QBB) a name that is as accurate as it is graphic.

Here, for the morbidly curious, is the list of contents for a QBB, from top to bottom: Bun, lettuce, beefsteak tomatoes, bacon, red onion, cheddar cheese, ½ lb beef, more onion, more cheese, another ½ lb beef, more onion, more cheese, yet another ½ lb beef, more bacon, another onion, an unashamed fourth ½ lb beef, gourmet sauce, and a bun.

I should say that in a nod towards healthy eating, the lettuce is described as “crisp” and the tomatoes as “fresh,” so things could be worse. For those on a diet, it is possible to order the less destructive “Triple Bypass Burger” (only 1 ½ lb of beef in total), the middling “Double Bypass Burger,” which is barely meaty at all with a measly 1 lb of beef, or the supermodel special, the “Single Bypass Burger,” which with a mere ½ lb of beef makes it practically vegetarian.

For those of us who think that a flight to Arizona just to sample a huge burger is just a little too extravagant, there is the more mundane option of popping in to the local Burger King and ordering a “Quad Stacker.” For a lot less than a plan ticket to Tempe, you can fill yourself with 1000 calories, 68 grams of fat, and another 30 grams of saturated fat.

Burger King management are unapologetic about the burger (as are the owners of the Heart Attack Grill). In an official BK statement, a marketing executive said, “We’re satisfying the serious meat lovers by leaving off the produce and letting them decide exactly how much meat and cheese they can handle.” Notice that “produce” is used as a euphemism for “vegetables.”

Although sorely tempted, you intrepid Editor has so far been able to resist the lure of the Quad. However, I have to admit to having tried the Triple and lived to tell the tale. I guess I’m OK with one Triple, which is surely an example of “all things in moderation.” My concern is that not everyone knows when to stop; when to “just say no”; when to draw that proverbial line in the sand. At what point does the individual have his or her right to gorge on excessive foods be taken away because “someone” thinks it is bad for them? If a line has to be drawn in the sand, who should be drawing it; the individual or Society?

Consider the following: Russian Natalya Kashuba, 27, is the owner of an up-market clothes shop. She drank up to three liters of Coke every day for five years. Then, at the beginning of this year, she took legal action against the soft drinks giant after claiming that she had suffered insomnia and heartburn. Miss Kashuba said she had become addicted to the drink as a result of a promotional offer that allowed consumers to swap Coca Cola caps for prizes. And guess what? She won! Although the damages were a token $100, the principle is that it was not her fault but Coke’s.

I know this might sound a little off the wall, but does anyone else think that three liters of ANY sugary soft drink per DAY might be just a tad bad for you? I’m no nutritional scientist, but it’s been fairly common knowledge for as long as I can remember – and that’s about 40 years – that excess sugar = bad.

Maybe Hippocrates had a point after all.