CONCEALED WEAPONS
On the almost second anniversary of Ohio's law allowing conealed carrying of arms, it's worth taking a look back at how this came about.

Under the heading of “disturbing philosophical arguments,” file the discussions found at Vermillion’s “Open Carry Shipping Day,” where for a two-hour period, the good citizens of the Harbor Town area of Vermillion, Ohio, were treated to the site of gun-toting patriots walking in and out of local stores and restaurants. In an attempt to promote the legalization of concealed weapons in Ohio, around 70 folks strapped on their firearms and wandered around the streets looking for bad guys. Well, maybe just looking for a Christmas present for the kids.

Chuck Holliday, who sounds like he has a relative called “Doc,” wasn’t taking any chances and decided to wear both a .40 Beretta and a .357 Magnum – you can’t be too careful when living in Vermillion. Chuck’s words of wisdom include the phrase, "We are common-sense people." I always worry when anyone appeals to "common-sense" because the definition appears to be “whatever I think is a good idea.”

One of the common-sense notions that Chuck advances is that "When criminals think somebody may be carrying a weapon, they won’t mess with them." Now this raises so many questions that it hardly qualifies as an answer in the first place. If I’m a rootin’, tootin’, pistol-packin’ hombre who thinks some dude’s packin’ heat, it’s in my best interest to plug him first. Hey, the concept of the Pre-emptive Strike is pretty popular these days, especially amongst our leaders.

Of course, if concealed weapons are OK for Joe Average (and it seems a testosterone-fueled thing because one rarely hears from Josephine Average that she wants to pack heat) then it’s OK for Al Capone, Don Corleone, and Tony Soprano to do the same.

A worried shopkeeper calls the police at 1:30 am because three suspicious guys with bulges in their pockets are positioning themselves at the gas station; one by the pumps, one at the door, and the third inside the store heading toward the counter. The cavalry arrives and finds – surprise surprise – that all the guys are carrying guns. But what’s the charge? Well, nothing! They’re carrying the pistols for "personal protection" and were just looking for a late-night coffee. And then they sue the police for harassment.

Ron Wise, another “guns for peace” promoter, feels that carrying arms is “a great idea.” However, his wife, Betty, thinks, “this is the most stupid thing I’ve heard of in my whole life.” Josephine Average? According to Betty, “We’re not living in the Old West. Everybody doesn’t need to carry a gun. We’re supposed to be civilized.”

Ron, on the other hand, says, “If everyone carried a gun, everybody would be civilized.” Which reminds me of an old joke: A man walks onto a plane and the security folks find a grenade, a gun, and a knife in his hand luggage. When asked why he is carrying all this stuff, he replied “Well, I heard that one in a million people will have a grenade on a plane, one in another million will have a gun, and one in another million will carry a knife. I reckon that if I’m the one carrying all three, I’m going to feel much safer!”