Truth in Advertising. There's a phrase that is often preached but not always practiced. However, at least some folks in the Spam world are brave enough to say it like it is. Take for example the e-mail I received some minutes ago with the no-nonsense, in-your-face title of "Hello man, your woody is really small!"
Kudos first of all for getting the right gender. I get particularly annoyed by spam that exhorts me to increase my breast size or pay more attention to my feminine hygiene. The least a spammer can do is identify me as a male.
I also have to admire the way in which the spammer leverages right into the common male insecurity of penis size. After all, which guy actually thinks his schlong is too long? No, 99% of men think they are under-endowed; the other 1% are fooling themselves.
The text of the message is even more honest in tone:
Hei dude
Don't tell me why your thing is so small, I will better help you to make it really Bigger!
Why bigger? Because over 72% of all women need a longer prick to satisfy their desire!
It'll really help you!
We will ship it worldwide within 24 hours, and if you find our product useless - we'll refund all your money!
I could, of course, resign myself to having a small penis and be content with finding the 28% of women who, apparently, don't need an extended tallywhacker to reach satisfaction. But then again, a simple click to a website could open up my potential pool of partners.
I hope the "solution" includes a way of advertising my new-found length. After all, what's the point of having an enormous three inches if nobody knows about it. How are those 72% supposed to be cognizant of the fact that I can now bring them to the heights of sexual ecstasy with a mere wave of my magic wand? Maybe the spammers have an e-mail list of these women and will be happy to send them my address. Or perhaps the solution comes with a T-shirt along the lines of "I have a big penis - wanna take a ride, baby?"
I can't lose because they will refund ALL my money if the product is useless, although if I have a small penis and continue to have a small penis, do I really want to go through the indignity of proclaiming that fact to the world?
Still, I can't fault these folks for honesty when it comes to describing what they are marketing. Sure there's no picture of the "solution" (which could be, for all I know, a strap-on extension or an eight-pound weight on a piece of elastic) but if it makes Little Timmy into Big Bobby, then life's good, yes?
I could, of course, resign myself to having a small penis and be content with finding the 28% of women who, apparently, don't need an extended tallywhacker to reach satisfaction. But then again, a simple click to a website could open up my potential pool of partners.
I hope the "solution" includes a way of advertising my new-found length. After all, what's the point of having an enormous three inches if nobody knows about it. How are those 72% supposed to be cognizant of the fact that I can now bring them to the heights of sexual ecstasy with a mere wave of my magic wand? Maybe the spammers have an e-mail list of these women and will be happy to send them my address. Or perhaps the solution comes with a T-shirt along the lines of "I have a big penis - wanna take a ride, baby?"
I can't lose because they will refund ALL my money if the product is useless, although if I have a small penis and continue to have a small penis, do I really want to go through the indignity of proclaiming that fact to the world?
Still, I can't fault these folks for honesty when it comes to describing what they are marketing. Sure there's no picture of the "solution" (which could be, for all I know, a strap-on extension or an eight-pound weight on a piece of elastic) but if it makes Little Timmy into Big Bobby, then life's good, yes?
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