CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?
The Bystander has clearly been sleeping on the job lately because he failed to pick up on an exciting story from Lasi, Romania. According to the daily newspaper, 7 Plus, police picked up a woman stepping off a bus after passengers said she'd stolen a mobile phone. Unable to find any evidence of the missing item, they decided to make a call.

A muted ring sounded - from under her skirt. Still unable to spot the cell, they took her to the police station for a strip search, whereupon the phone was found - stuck up her ass.

I suppose some kudos has to be given for the sheer bravado needed to use such an unusual hiding place. However, the story has a twist: once the phone had been removed, the police simply gave it a quick rub down with disinfectant and returned it to the owner. I wonder if he or she was made aware of where the mobile had been?