THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS
"Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens." So what's so great about finding raindrops on roses? All that means is that the weather's too wet to lie outside in the sun. And what's so special about whiskers on kittens? Let's be honest, if you snipped off a cat's whiskers, would you notice? I think not.

No, for truly admirable, I recommend the dandelion. Yes, that ubiquitous yellow weed that infests the earth is surely a masterpiece of evolutionary design. The only sure way of clearing your garden of this wonderous flower is to use napalm and a small, tactical nuclear weapon. And even then, I'd be ready to do a final sweep with a couple of bottles of Round Up. Anyone who hasn't yet replaced their lawn with concrete is aware of the fact that no matter how hard it is to grow the plants you want, growing dandelions is a piece of cake.

Just look at the reproductive capacity of this amazing piece of flora. One dandelion head can give rise to around a hundred tiny seeds, each one designed to be wafted aloft by the breathe of a sparrow, with the ability to travel half way across the world - or at least the neighborhood. Despite the best efforts of mankind, the dandelion has managed to survive time and time again to become an awesomely ubiquitous plant.

And what about fleas? These little buggers are obviously one of mother nature's crown jewels. For every one you find, there has to be ninety-nine more of the bloodsucking bastards just waiting to swoop in and puncture your flesh. You can't catch 'em, squish 'em, or even poison them - they just keep coming back for more. If fleas had hands, they'd have their middle digits permanently erect. As with dandelions, nukes and napalm are your best bet.

Finally, don't forget the cockroach. Just as fleas are designed to be vertically flat so they can weave in and out of animal hairs, cockies are horizontally flat so they scuttle under chairs, floorboards, refrigerators, and beds. If you do manage to get one under your foot, the chances are that you end up spreading their little eggs around, thus ensuring the survival of yet another generation of the revolting little beasts.

You can keep your "bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens;" dandelions, cockroaches, and fleas - oh my!