NO SON, IT'S A TOILET, NOT A SHOWER
Kids. You gotta love 'em. Unless, that is, you're a puppy. or more specifically, unless you're the puppy owned by the Blair family in England. It seems that their three-year-old son, Daniel, is quite the budding scientist. He clearly knew that a shower is essentially a blast of water that is used to clean people. He also knew that a toilet provides a blast of water. If you have a dirty puppy that is too small for a shower, what might be another option?

Yes, you're right - Daniel popped the tiny one-week-old Cocker Spaniel pup into the bowl and flushed vigorously. The hapless hound was small enough to get washed down the pipes and ended up some 20 yards away underground.

A call to the local Dyno-Rod folks brought plumber Will Craig to the house, armed with some specialist equipment that allowed him to send a camera to the location of the pup. He was then able to push it toward the nearest manhole and take him out.



Apart from being a little wet and bedraggled - and maybe psychologically scarred for life - the only lasting trauma is likely to be adjusting to his new name: Dyno, after the drain-cleaning company that rescued him.

Next time, the Blair's should find a pet that doesn't fit down a toilet. Or flush little Daniel's head in the bowl so he can find out that is isn't a shower!

HOLY CRAP! THAT'S ONE EXPENSIVE POOPER!
If you find yourself in Boston and in dire need of backing out the brown Volvo, try and delay the inevitable while you find the Christopher Columbus Park toilet. And as you drop your coins into the slot and log into the bowl, bear in mind that the facilities you are using cost a cool $300,000. And change, I suspect.

Because of a series of "complications," Boston's Director of Street Furniture, Peter O'Sullivan revealed that it took about two years to build the lavatory.

"This was the perfect storm," O'Sullivan said. "There were more complications on this one than on any toilet we've worked on." No shit, Sherlock! Well, not for two years at least.

What is also telling it that apparently, the $300,000 tag turns out to have been only $50,000 over budget. This means the regular price for a privy is $250,000 - which sounds worse if you say "a quarter of a million!" Unless the seats are gold plated and rather than piped music you get a Boston Symphony Orchestra live while you're cleaning the tuba, this seems like a stunningly high price to pay.

The good news is that the pricey plumbing is not coming out of tax payers' pockets but the private sector. According to Michael Galvin, chief of public property and construction management, the money comes from a company that has exclusive advertising rights in the loo.

That's a hell of a lot of shit to be passed before they get a return on investment.